on a pressing matter of state

President Boris Yeltsin called Clinton with an emergency:
"Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the Russian President cried; "My people's
favourite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!"
"Boris, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you.",
replied the President.
"I do need your help," said Yeltsin. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tie
us over?"
"Why certainly! I'll get right on it!", said Clinton.
"Oh, and one more small favour, please?", said Yeltsin.
"Yes?", replied the President.
"Could the condoms be red in colour and at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Yeltsin.
"No problem," replied the President and, with that, Clinton hung up and called the President
of Trojan condoms. "I need a favour, you've got to make 1,000,000 condoms right away and
send them to Russia."
"Consider it done," said the President of Trojan.
"Great! Now listen, they have to be red in colour, 10" long and 4" wide."
"Easily done. Anything else?"
"Yeah," said the President, "Print 'MADE IN AMERICA, SIZE MEDIUM' on each one."



Boy: Dad, what's politics?
Dad: Let me set an example with our family. I have all the money so we'll call me the
management. Mom receives most of it so we'll call her the government. We'll call the maid
the working class, you are the people, and your baby brother is the future. Do you
understand now son?
Boy: I still don't understand dad.
Dad: Think about it for a while son. That night the boy wakes up because his baby brother is
crying. He goes in and finds out he's soiled his diapers. He goes to tell his mom but she's
asleep he goes in to the maids room but she's in there having sex with his dad. He bangs on
the door but no one can here him. The next day...
Son: Dad I understand politics now.
Dad: Good, explain it to me in your own words son.
Son: The management is screwing the working class while the governments fast asleep. The
people are being ignored and the future is full of SHIT!



A lady bought a new $100,000 Mercedes and proudly drove it off the showroom floor to take
home. Halfway home, she attempted to change radio stations and saw that there appeared
to be only one station. She immediately turned around and headed back to the dealer.
Once at the dealer, she found her salesman and began to excitedly explain that her radio
was not working, and they must replace it since she only had one radio station. The
salesman calmed her down and told her that her car radio was voice-activated, and that she
would only need to state aloud the type of music that she wanted and the car would find it.
She got into the car and started the engine and then said the word "country," and the radio
changed to a station playing a George Strait song. She was satisfied and started home.
After a while she decided to try out the radio and said "rock 'n' roll;" the radio station
changed and a song by the Rolling Stones came from the speakers. Quite pleased, the
woman continued driving.
A few blocks from her house, another driver ran a light causing her to slam on her brakes to
avoid a collision. The woman angrily exclaimed, "Asshole!" ...The radio cut over to Bill
Clinton's press conference.