You Know You're A College Student When...

1. Going to the library is a social event.

2. You play the lottery to ensure housing, not win money.

3. No matter what ails you, the nurse can only give you generic non-aspirin.

4. You need a map to find your classroom.

5. You're grateful that the cafeteria labels the food.

6. It's not unusual to see four feet in the next shower stall.

7. You plan your schedule to have Fridays off.

8. You wear flip-flops in the shower, to avoid the mysterious creeping crud.

9. You pay outrageous prices for books that are worthless to you after four
months. [And you know you're a college graduate when you wish you had
those books back.]

10. The word "rush" does not mean to be in a hurry.

11. You buy enough underwear to last five weeks so you do not have to wash
your clothes often.

12. You're willing to pay extra for edible food.

13. You'll pay any sum of money to have a pizza delivered to your room at
2:00 a.m.

14. Out of sheer desperation, you attempt to cook a grilled cheese sandwich
on an iron.

15. Standing in line for half an hour to get a bowl of corn flakes is worth
the wait.

16. The same fish sticks that are served square on Tuesday are served round
on Friday.

17. While your mother lectures you over the phone, you take notes.

18. You bring home a doggie bag from Taco Bell.

19. A peanut butter and jelly burrito is considered a valid nutritious
breakfast.

20. You're always there if the words "free food" are mentioned.

21. Hitchhiking across America sounds like an "educational experience" (or
at least that's what you tell your Mom).

22. A "rich date" is someone who takes you to the real movies, not just the
free ones shown on campus.

23. You know (and employ) more ways to waste time than there are dollars in
your bank account.

24. You know more about TV shows than about your assignments.

25. You go trick-or-treating for next week's breakfast.

26. You drag clothes out of your hamper to wear (on a regular basis).

27. You rewrite all the cliches and songs you know because you discover that
they fit your dormroom life (or lack thereof).

28. You can think of at least 4 different ways to wear your underwear to
avoid having to do laundry.

29. You think you're rich if you've got a positive checking balance.

30. Other people drive your car more than you do.

31. You can fall asleep any time, any where.

32. You make change for a quarter when you need to make a phone call.

33. You have week-old pizza in your refrigerator and you contemplate eating
it.

34. You'd rather eat off a piece of paper than wash your dirty dishes.

35. You have a pile of dirty clothes, a pile of once-used but not quite
dirty clothes, and a pile of clothes used more than once but that you
could use a couple more times without smelling too bad.