Flashbacks

The Year...1935:
In Helena, Montana, a man named Louis Francis, desperate for a
way to get out of jail, phones the local sheriff from a prison
telephone. "This is Governor Frank Cooney," he tells the
sheriff. "You let Louis Francis out now...I just pardoned him."
The ploy does not work.

After being discharged from his position with a Church of God
congregation in Glassboro Lawns, New Jersey, Reverend Davis
steals the church (a 14-by-20 foot prefabricated building).
Arrested soon after, Reverend Davis refuses to tell police where
he's put the church.

The Year...1936:
In Peoria, Illinois, a man arrested for zigzagging through
traffic explains, "My girl got the hiccoughs, and I was trying
to scare them out of her."

A new York man settles his $1,000 suit against the New York
Yankees for $25 (he was hit by a foul ball off the bat of Babe
Ruth). The Yankees contended that some might consider it an
honor to be hit by the world's home run king. The judge
commented, "No doubt, but the plaintiff could not appreciate the
honor as he was knocked unconscious."

The Year...1944:
A laundry in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania accidentally delivers a
truckload of diapers (instead of towels) to the Lehigh
University football team.

In Tracy, California, a carpenter named Hardy Sparrow injures
himself when he falls out of a tree.

The Year...1949:
A Milwaukee, Wisconsin man named Arnold Frankenstein petitioned
to have his name changed because people kept phoning his house
and asked to speak to the MONSTER.

In Joliet, Illinois, a prize-winning safe driver shared his
secret of good driving. The trick is to "drive defensively, as
if other drivers are dangerous maniacs."

Two men in Newark, New Jersey were convicted of bookmaking,
despite their claims they were only "turf consultants".

The Year...1950:
When the police constable of London, Ontario has a collision
with another vehicle, he gets out to tell the other driver he
intends to press charges. He decides to forget the whole thing
after discovering that the driver of the other car is his wife.

In Harlan, Kentucky, a man is arrested for breaking INTO the
city jail.

In Kansas City, Martha Bullard and Noah Paddock, both 71,
finally patch things up and marry 49 years after Martha left
Noah standing at the altar.

A laborer in McAlester, Oklahoma gets a bad bruise when a crate
containing 1,000 pairs of safety shoes falls on his foot.

The Year...1954:
A motorist in Salisbury, Maryland wins a $5 settlement from the
State Farm Insurance Company after he reports his parked auto
has been severely bitten on the fender by a horse.

In Santa Rosa, California, a local minister sends out a
mimeographed bulletin with an amusing typographical error. It
invites parishioners to stay after services for "a coffee hour
in the social hell."

The public library in Toledo, Ohio gets back a copy of DAVID
CROCKETT: HIS LIFE AND ADVENTURES that was checked out in 1882.
Officials decide to forgive the $788 fine.

A man in Nashville is picked up on suspicion of auto theft only
six hours after his release from prison on a two-year sentence
for the same crime. He tells police he was merely "listening to
the engine run."