Texas Windows98

A letter from Microsoft:

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Texas Edition of
Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside of Texas.

If you have one of the Texas Editions you may need some help understanding
the commands.

The Texas Edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It
reads WINDERS98 with a background picture of the Alamo superimposed on the
Texas flag. It is shipped with a Leann Rimes screen saver. Also note the
Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse. My Computer is called This Infernal
Contraption. Dialup Networking is called Good Ol Boys. Control Panel is
known as the Dashboard. Hard Drive is referred to as Wheel Drive. Floppies
are Them Little Ol' Plastic Disc Thangs.

Other features: Instead of an Error Message you get a Winder covered with a
garbage bag and duct tape.

Terminology:
OK = ats aww-right
Cancel = hail no
Reset = aw shoot
Yes = shore
No = Naaaa
Find = hunt-fer it
Go to = over yonder
Back = back yonder
Help = hep me out here
Stop = ternit off
Start = crank it up
Settings =sittins
Programs = stuff that does stuff
Documents = stuff I done done

Also note that Winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or punctuation
marks. We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a
copy of the Texas Edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement
version.