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No Arms And No Legs Jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a pile of leaves?: Russell
And what do you call the same guy, 6 months later: Pete

In the lake: Bob
In a lake with a woman: Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, and Ann
(Say it aloud if you don't get it. Hint for clueless, think Beach Boys.)

In a ditch: Phil

Outside the door: Matt

On the wall: Art
What do you call his arms and legs?: Pieces of Art
What if he also doesn't have a tongue?: Tasteless Art

What do you call two guys with no arms/legs in the water: Swimming trunks

No arms, no legs, between two buildings: Ali

No arms, no legs, rabbit in rear: Warren

No arms, no legs, no head, no torso: Dick
No arms, no legs but able to swim the English Channel: Clever Dick
A woman with no arms, legs, or torso?: Muffie

No feet: Neil

In your mailbox: Bill

The woman who puts him in the fireplace: Burnadette

What do you say to a woman with no arms and no legs?: Nice tits!

Left out in the sun: Wilt

Covered with cement: Rock

In your pool: Bob

In your hot tub: Stu

On your BBQ grill: Frank

What do you call a woman who has one leg shorter than the other?: Eileen
A Japanese woman with the same affliction?: Irene
What do you call her after the operation?: Noleen.

A couple, both with no arms & no legs, and run a butcher shop:
Chuck and Patty

When you throw him across a pond?: Skip

On hot asphalt: Flip

No arms, no legs, and no pelvis: Chester

Going over a fence: Homer

In your girlfriend's lingerie drawer: Teddy

Who every one takes a dump on?: John

A guy with one arm and no legs who holds up your car: Jack

A guy with no arms and legs that you use to loosen hex screws: Allen

Two guys w/ no arms and no legs nailed to your spice rack: Herb and Basil

Woman w/ no arms/legs who's been force fed beans: Gail.

Woman w/ no arms/ legs who's hanging from your chandelier:
1. Crystal.
2. Tiffany

Guy w/ no arms/legs who's upside down in the end zone: Spike

A girl with no arms and no legs, lying on a grill: Patty

Hanging from a chain destroying buildings?: Rex

Covered in oil?: Derek

What do you call a man, with no arms and no legs, out in the ocean?:

What do you call a woman without legs and arms?:
Nothing. She ain't going nowhere, so drop the sweet talk!

What do you call a guy with no arms & no legs stuck in a wall?: Brad

What do you call a guy with no arm and no legs in a coffee cup?: Joe

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on a poker table?: Chip

Waterskiing: Skip

On a beach: Sandy

Throwing up: Chuck

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs getting trampled on by a
bunch of basketball players?: Jim.

On a golf course?: Chip

Sitting on a hill: Cliff

Twin boys hanging over the window: Curt 'n' Rod

WOMAN with no arms & no legs:

At the end of a long March: April
In your dishwasher: Dawn
In a fry pan: Pam (and she won't stick!)
In your garden: Lilly or Violet
Coming like thunder across the bay: Dawn
At sunset: Eve
In a hole: Peg
In a vase: Rose

MAN with no arms & no legs:

Holding drill bit in teeth: Chuck
Thrown against the wall: Mark
In a bottle: Pop
Hit by lightning: Rod
On a stage: Mike
MAN with no legs, one arm and Parkinson's shaving : Nick
MAN with no legs, holding a chain in each hand: Link
Man with one leg: Tip
Man with no knee caps: Neil
Congressman with one leg and no knee caps: Tip O'Neil
On railroad track: Spike
Out of the wind: Lee
On an antenna: Guy
Man - no arms/no legs in a stream: Eddy
Male midget - no arms/no legs on a grill: Frank Shorter

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